Missed My Ex So I Shot Again

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When you're thinking "I miss my ex", information technology can be incredibly hard to shake that feeling.

You lot may take a massive pit in your breadbasket or literally feel nauseous anytime you are reminded of your ex (which can feel similar a hundred times a day!).

Though it seems like y'all are alone in your pain, it's important to know that it's an incredibly common experience and with the correct arroyo you tin move forward whether you decide to get back with your ex or not.

In this article, I'll and so list the 16 big things you can exercise right now to feel improve about yourself and (if you want to) actually win them dorsum.

After that, I'll cover everything you demand to know almost missing your ex and how to bounce back from a breakup.

Let's go.

"I Miss My Ex" – The 16 all-time things yous can do

Hither are 16 common approaches to take when you miss your ex – some are healthy, others perhaps less so. I delve into the pros and cons of each one.

Whether you desire your ex back or not, you'll find very some helpful pointers in these 14 approaches.

one. Emotions run the prove

The problem isn't that your ex doesn't love you — your past relationship has shown how strong their feelings can be.

If y'all've tried to get dorsum with your ex and failed, the real trouble is that they've closed their listen to the possibility. Your ex has already decided not to give yous a chance.

That'due south the emotional wall you demand to climb over.

The unproblematic truth is that emotions run the show when information technology comes to his decision-making — and this is actually your all-time shot at winning your ex back.

Here'southward how.

Scientists take recently made an interesting discovery about humans. When relaxed, eighty% of the fourth dimension our listen is imagining the future. Nosotros spend a niggling chip of time contemplating the by and focusing on the nowadays — but nearly of the time we're really thinking virtually the future.

Co-ordinate to relationship expert James Bauer, the key to getting back with your ex is changing what they experience when they picture you lot in their life again.

Forget about disarming them to requite things another try. Logical reasoning with your ex won't work because y'all'll just reinforce the painful emotions that drove them away from you in the first identify.

When someone tries to convince you of something, it's homo nature to always come up with a counter argument.

Focus instead on changing the way they feel. To exercise this, simply change the emotions they associate with y'all and brand them film a whole new human relationship.

In his simple and genuine video, James Bauer gives you a step-past-footstep method for changing the way your ex feels well-nigh yous. He reveals the texts you tin send and things you can say that volition trigger something deep inside them.

Because once you paint a new picture about what your life together could be like, their emotional walls won't stand a chance.

Lookout his first-class complimentary video here.

2. Work on growing and evolving yourself

The irony is that if you want to truly make your ex jealous, you accept to non focus on them at all.

And then what practise you lot focus on?

Yourself.

When you lot're experiencing a traumatic or life-changing event, information technology's e'er an opportunity to larn more near who you are as a person. Instead of focusing on your ex, turn your attention in to ask yourself questions like:

What did I enjoy doing before I met my ex?
Was there anything I loved doing that I didn't do a lot when I was with my ex?
What did I dear doing as a child that I could do more of now?
What would brand me experience happier now?

Here's why growing yourself works:

When you lot commencement to reflect on what makes you lot happy as a person and do more of those activities, you will naturally begin to milkshake your grief in a salubrious and positive way.

This doesn't mean that you don't get back on the dating scene or run across new people, but the mindset from which you practise it is completely different. You're operating from a identify of curiosity and joy instead of jealousy. This will make yous much happier in the long run no thing how things unfold.

As an added bonus, people are always attracted to other people who are living their all-time lives. So whether yous meet someone new in the procedure or want to get back with your ex at some point, you'll exist more attractive to potential partners too.

QUIZ: "Does my ex want me back?" If you miss your ex, then you lot're probably asking yourself this question. I've put together a fun science-based quiz to help you figure it out. Accept my quiz hither.

3. Thinking of your ex as "the i"

"My ex is The One" is another thought many of us have probably experienced at 1 time or another. We live in a culture that hypes upward the idea of the "The I" and peculiarly through the movies and shows that we watch.

Retrieve back to the Disney movies yous saw as a kid – in that location was always just 1 perfect match for the main character. Cinderella and Prince Charming. Rapunzel and Flynn. Mulan and Shange.

We've been trained to believe there is "The One" from a young age and that'south what will bring us happiness or our own happily e'er after.

Hither's why focusing on "The I" doesn't work.

The irony hither is that when we are dependent on someone else to brand us happy, nosotros will never actually be totally happy in any human relationship.

In fact, Randi Gunther, Ph.D., is a clinical psychologist and union counselor practicing in Southern California says the more nosotros projection our ain desire for happiness on to our partners, the more likely the relationship is to fail in the long-term.

Yikes.

4. Give them infinite

Ever give your ex some space. This is absolutely essential.

Because by giving your ex space, you lot're giving them time to reflect on the practiced things most the relationship and ultimately to miss yous.

You may think that your ex is just going to move on once they take some infinite. This is a risk you lot have to be comfortable taking.

After all, your ex may not talk to you for a while.

I know giving your ex infinite seems hard and counter intuitive, only leaving them alone is i of the all-time ways of really getting them back into your life.

However, you have to do it in a very specific way. You don't desire to simply cut off all advice. Y'all accept to talk to your ex's hidden and make it seem like y'all actually and truly don't want to talk to them correct now.

Pro tip:

Send this "No Communication" text

— "You're right. Information technology's best that we don't talk right now, simply I would like to be friends somewhen." —

This 1 needs to exist sent to your ex at the correct time for it to be truly effective.

Just why I similar it is that you're communicating with them that you don't actually demand to talk anymore. In essence, yous're maxim that you don't really need them to play any role in your life anymore.

Why is this then skilful?

You induce a "fear of loss" in your ex which will trigger their attraction for you lot over again.

I learned about this text from Brad Browning, who has helped thousands of men and women get their exes back. He goes by the moniker of "the relationship geek", for good reason.

In this free video, he'll prove you exactly what yous tin do to make your ex want y'all once more.

No matter what your situation is — or how badly you lot've messed up since the two of you broke up — he'll give you a number of useful tips that you can employ immediately.

Hither'due south a link to his free video again. If you lot actually want your ex back, this video will help you do this.

5. Become emotionally independent from your ex

So what is the primal to maintaining a long-term relationship in the futurity with a new partner or even your ex?

Learning about what makes y'all happy and confident independently from your partner.

Equally Alyssa "Lia" Mancao, a licensed clinical social worker and certified cerebral therapist, shares on mindbodygreen:

"[Emotion dependence] is very common: Information technology's the thought that our happiness depends on something outside of the states. This is known as emotional dependence; it is when our feelings and self-worth are based on external factors such every bit how some other person feels nearly us. Simply if we desire to find a sense of peace within ourselves and our relationships, then it is important to shift from emotional dependence and into emotional independence."

This is why emotional independence works.

By focusing on becoming happy whether your ex returns or doesn't render to your life, y'all'll be setting yourself upwards for long-term happiness either way.

Lasting happiness is something y'all cultivate from within and not something that you observe outside of yous. And so developing emotional independence will serve you lot not only now, but for the rest of your life.

six. Reverberate on the relationship

If y'all miss your ex, then y'all need to do some reflection about the relationship.

What went right? What went wrong? And well-nigh importantly, what volition you do differently if you get dorsum together?

Because you can't echo the same mistakes from your past.

For women, I think it'southward essential to have some time to reverberate on what really drives men in relationships.

Considering men see the world differently to you lot and are motivated past different things when information technology comes to love.

Men have a built in desire for something "greater" that goes beyond love or sex. Information technology's why men who seemingly accept the "perfect girlfriend" are still unhappy and find themselves constantly searching for something else — or worst of all, someone else.

Simply put, men have a biological drive to feel needed, to feel of import, and to provide for the woman he cares about.

Human relationship psychologist James Bauer calls it the hero instinct. He created an splendid free video explaining the concept.

Click here to watch the video.

As James argues, male desires are not complicated, just misunderstood. Instincts are powerful drivers of human beliefs and this is especially true for how men approach their relationships.

How do you trigger this instinct in him? How practise you give him a sense of meaning and purpose?

You don't demand to pretend to be anyone y'all're non or play the "damsel in distress". You don't have to dilute your force or independence in whatsoever way, shape or course.

In an authentic fashion, yous simply accept to testify your human what you need and let him to stride up to fulfill information technology.

In his video, James Bauer outlines several things you tin do. He reveals phrases, texts and little requests that you tin apply correct now to make him feel more essential to you.

Hither's a link to the video again.

By triggering this very natural male person instinct, you'll not merely supercharge his confidence merely it volition help yous guys to get back together – for adept.

7. Distract yourself

Here'south the matter – you definitely want to stay busy subsequently a breakup. Information technology'south a great thought to be getting out doing things yous savour and spending time with people who dearest you, make you laugh, and experience good.

It'due south also a great idea to start meeting and dating new people to remind yourself that yous are attractive and desirable. These are all great things to do!

But, as we discussed, it's all-time to use this time to notice your own sources of inner happiness and joy. So how you cull to distract yourself is incredibly important.

Why distraction for distraction'southward sake doesn't work:

Many times people autumn into the trap of distracting themselves with things that don't actually make them feel improve like binge-watching Netflix and YouTube, staying out too late, or eating and drinking too much.

Use this time instead to stay busy with positive things like taking a new class, reconnecting with an old friend, volunteering, or doing something special for a loved i "only considering."

QUIZ: "Does my ex want me back?" We all inquire this question at least once after a interruption up. I've put together a fun science-based quiz to help you effigy information technology out. Accept my quiz here.

8. Gear up purposeful goals then that yous miss your ex less

But it's even meliorate if you can become very purposeful about how you distract yourself. A breakup is a wonderful opportunity to assess your unabridged life and what may or may exist out of balance.

Instead of staying busy but to stay decorated, make a plan for how you lot can piece of work on the key areas of your life, and track your progress.

How are your fitness and your health? Could y'all be exercising more or eating healthier?
How is your career going? Are you lot doing something that you love and brings yous fulfillment?
How are your finances? Would this be a good time to learn more financial literacy skills and work on creating more financial security in your life?
How are your behavior nigh life and your truthful purpose? Could you use this fourth dimension to explore some of the bigger questions of life?
How are your other key relationships? Practise you have any other relationships that demand attending to and improvement?
How is your cocky-care? Are yous doing things every solar day that add together to your energy, passion, joy, and happiness?

If anyone of these areas feels out of whack, now is a peachy time to explore and work on that topic.

Make a program that will help you not miss your ex by instead focusing on things that are helping you to ameliorate your unabridged life.

Why setting purposeful goals works:

It's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture of our lives when we are distracting ourselves with unfilling activities. Setting purposeful goals about areas we want to amend in our lives helps united states of america to focus on ourselves.

The action – or, the distraction – we take becomes well-nigh adding something meaningful to our lives rather than simply running away or escaping. It's a small mindset shift that makes a huge departure.

The more yous focus on "distracting" yourself with things that better your overall happiness, the less and less you will inevitably miss your ex.

Want to win back your ex? 9 to sixteen has yous covered

Some people will find that later they have focused on cultivating their own happiness, they nevertheless miss their ex and want to get dorsum together.

The bully news is that if you lot've been using this fourth dimension to focus on you lot, your want to get back together is probable coming from a place of clarity. And that ways the chances of your chances of the relationship working out in the long-term are much greater.

And so what do you do?

9. Make your ex jealous

Who hasn't experienced this idea after a breakup?

It's an incredibly mutual reaction considering our mind automatically jumps to the logic "If I tin can but make him/her jealous, then he/she volition miss me, as well."

The thing is, sparking jealousy in your ex can actually be pretty constructive if you lot do it right.

Probably the all-time manner is to spend time with other people.You don't accept to sleep with them or even appointment them. Just spend time with others and let your ex see that.

Jealousy is a powerful matter; apply it to your advantage. Just apply it wisely.

If yous're feeling a little adventurous, endeavour this "Jealousy" text

— "I call up information technology was a nifty idea that nosotros decided to get-go dating other people. I do only want to be friends correct now!" —

By saying this, yous're telling your ex that y'all're actually dating other people correct now… which volition in plough make them jealous.

This is a adept thing.

Yous're communicating to your ex that you're really wanted by others. We're all attracted to people wanted past others. By saying that you're dating around already, you lot're pretty much saying that "it's your loss!"

Later sending this text they'll begin to experience attraction for yous once again because of the "fear of loss" I mentioned earlier.

This was another text I learned from Brad Browning, hands down my favorite "get your ex back" online bus.

Here's a link to his free online video. He gives a number of useful tips that you can apply immediately to get your ex dorsum.

ten. Evidence your ex how you have changed and evolved

First thing'due south first – you need to show your ex that y'all've grown and changed since the breakup.

Whether you broke up with your ex or they broke up with you, you need to prove him or her that you are not the same person every bit when you parted means.

Because yous've washed the work, they will be able to run into this alter in you and are much more likely to take your overtures seriously.

So when you talk again with your ex, try to prove them in a subtle manner the qualities you lot've improved in yourself.

eleven. Fight for your ex

Your ex may need some convincing that you've sincerely changed, then make certain to bear witness them through meaningful and purposeful deportment.

This may be through making right a wrong that you lot previously committed. This may be a gesture that shows that you're really hearing and listening to their concerns. Give it your all-time shot, but know at the terminate of the day, it is ultimately their decision. If they are feeling pressured to get back together with you, then they'll likely resist reuniting more.

And then metaphorically fight for them by being purposeful in your deportment, only don't overdo it to the point that your gestures feel calculated or insincere.

At this bespeak and considering of all the personal growth work yous've done, y'all should have the peace of mind of knowing that you will be okay – and notice happiness over again – whether or not they determine they want to get back together, too.

12. Process unresolved emotions

Often thoughts and memories come into our consciousness considering we oasis't fully processed and worked through them. So information technology'south important to have time to process unresolved emotions from your relationship with your ex.

Journal, talk through feelings with a trusted friend, or discuss such things with a therapist. Then you can brand sure you aren't bringing any old emotions into your new human relationship.

13. Resist the urge to compare others to your ex

Information technology'south natural to want to compare others to your ex, but when you lot practice this, y'all miss the opportunity to get to know new people in your life more than fully.

Approach dating and meeting new people with marvel. Look at discovering the uniqueness of each new person equally an risk to embark on.

It can be tempting to put your ex on a pedestal, only when yous have him or her off the pedestal, you brand it much easier to believe that i) you are worthy of falling in love once again, and ii) that other people are worthy of your love, besides.

14. What would a gifted informational say?

The points above and below in this article will give you a expert idea of what to practice to win back your ex.

However, information technology tin be very worthwhile to speak to a highly intuitive person and become guidance from them.

They can reply all sorts of relationship questions and have away your doubts and worries.

Like, are yous meant to be with them? Tin can you actually practice something to win them dorsum?

I recently spoke to someone from Psychic Source afterwards going through a rough patch in my relationship. After beingness lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into where my life was going, including who I was meant to be with.

I was actually diddled away by how kind, compassionate and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to go your own dear reading .

In this love reading, a gifted counselor can tell you lot where things stand with your ex, and most importantly empower you to make the correct decisions when it comes to love.

15. Date yourself for a while

Who says that you lot need to date someone else to have fun? Having a weekly engagement with yourself tin exist an amazing way to discover what y'all most enjoy doing while building your ain confidence.

Take yourself out to a movie. Visit a favorite museum. Grab a cup of coffee or drinking glass of wine with your favorite book. Go for an epic hike or mount bike ride. Peruse your favorite store but because.

As y'all shift your focus to doing things you dearest and spending time on you, you may just discover that you can have just as much fun on your ain every bit you lot did with your ex – if not more!

16. Track your progress

A great motivator anytime you are learning a new skill or developing a new addiction is to track your progress.

Keep a journal or jot down a few notes each day about how y'all're feeling and what y'all are doing. Though yous may nevertheless find yourself thinking virtually and missing your ex, it volition exist easier to spot how far yous've come if you lot accept a record of your progress.

With a record to refer to, the idea "I miss my ex so much" can quickly plough into "Wow! I miss my ex so much less now than I did a month agone." And that's a huge win and motivator to keep moving frontwards.

QUIZ: To help you piece of work out whether your ex wants actually wants y'all dorsum, I've created a brand new quiz. I'm going to tell it to you straight based on your own situation. Check out my quiz hither.

Thinking "I miss my ex" is completely normal

Hither's the thing well-nigh breakups – they can make you experience and so isolated and alone in your pain and suffering.

We can find ourselves wondering thoughts like "Why is this happening to me? What'south incorrect with me? What did I do wrong? Will I ever love again? Will anyone ever dearest me over again?"

For many people, it's easy to ruminate on these types of mail-breakup thoughts over and over over again, attacking these questions from all sorts of different angles.

The problem with ruminating later a breakup is that it keeps you trapped (like a hamster on a wheel), questioning and questioning without always finding any real, conclusive answers right away.

Ruminating keeps united states of america stuck in our pain and suffering, and that'southward why it can feel then hard to get out of it when we experience a painful consequence similar a breakup.

Finding a path forward from a breakup

When you break upward with someone what you really demand is a path frontward. It'south necessary to your happiness and power to bounce back that instead of staying in a identify of rumination, you get off the hamster wheel and take care of yourself at a deep level.

The irony is when you start to motility forward, the answers you lot're looking for often show up much more quickly than when yous just ruminate on them.

When we go through painful life experiences, information technology'southward essential – fifty-fifty an opportunity – to discover who we are and what makes us truly happy at our cadre.

When you lot take the fourth dimension to exercise that, you will e'er be happier whether yous decide to get back with your ex or non.

Why intermission ups tin be as painful as losing a loved one

With that said, sometimes well-meaning family and friends can reply to our intermission up with comments that make the states feel misunderstood or like they don't understand the depth of our pain.

They may say things like "You're improve off without him/her anyway" or "Don't worry – you lot'll love once more."

And while they are trying to cheer united states of america up, it makes us feel worse and more alone because information technology feels like our pain is so much heavier than they realize. Nosotros begin to wonder, "Should I be feeling this upset over a breakup?"

The truth is yep – it makes complete sense that you're devastated and peradventure even feel similar you've lost your compass you utilize to navigate the world.

Everything that felt familiar and certain in life has at present been turned on its head.

Dr. Tricia Wolanin, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist, says "The process of dealing with a breakup is comparable to grief." And adds, "It's the death of a relationship, hopes and dreams for the future. The person nosotros are losing was [a large part of] our world and therefore has taken up so much of our mental and eye space."

Why "I miss my ex" is such a powerful thought

When your expectations and the direction of your life are turned upside downward, in that location is a healing process that you have to go through to regain a feeling of health.

Brene Brown, a research professor and acknowledged writer, argues that if y'all don't let yourself to feel the magnitude of your painful feelings, that you're doing a disservice to the people effectually you – even the rest of the world.

On her popular podcast, Unlocking Us, Brown said:

"When we practice empathy with ourselves and others, nosotros create more empathy. Love, y'all, is the last affair we need to ration in this earth. The wearied doctor in the ER room in New York doesn't do good more if y'all conserve your kindness but for her and withhold it from yourself or your coworker who lost her job. The surest style to ensure that you have a reserve of compassion and empathy for others is to attend to your own feelings."

Feel the grief of a breakup to move through it

So while people may not fully sympathize your pain, do not fall into the trap of thinking you "should" feel whatever differently.

Breaking upwardly with your ex is difficult. Make certain y'all allow yourself to feel the grief, and so y'all tin truly movement through it.

If your grief is interfering with your ability to do solar day-to-day tasks or has yous feeling despondent at times, it'due south besides a proficient idea to talk to a therapist nigh your breakdown. A good therapist will help you lot make sense of your grief then that you can move forwards in a healthy and positive way.

Keep moving forward

As we've discussed – and no matter whether you desire to get back with your ex or not – the key is to keep moving forrard and growing who you lot are as a person.

The feeling of missing your ex is completely normal, and it'south also an opportunity to practice a deeper dive into what truly makes you happy on your terms.

Whether you decide to return to your ex or not, y'all will be taking your next steps every bit the most whole and happiest version of y'all, which is exactly the place you desire to start your next chapter from – whatever great adventure information technology may exist.

FREE eBook: four Steps to Starting Over With An Ex

Practise you want to become back with your ex?

Then y'all need to bank check out our FREE eBook,The Ex Back Handbook.

We accept 1 goal in mind with this volume: to help you lot win back an ex (for adept!).

If you desire a foolproof plan to reverse your break up, you lot're going to honey this guide.

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